Arrested Love

"Orchestrated for amusement and informing the public."
Hermosa Beach <3 

Hermosa Beach <3 

Act of Humbleness

I remembered watching Act of Valor and at the end of the movie Chief David recites a poem. It took me about half a second to find it through google since everyone else who saw the movie thought it was inspirational as well. But I did a little more research and I research the author of the poem. And its pretty interesting stuff. Check it out:

The author of the poem is a Native American, and when I read the name shawnee chief tecumseh it brought me back to my high school history days or even further back. Anyways, Tecumseh was responsible for uniting other Native American tribes so together they can fight against the “Americans” from taking over more land. And it is pretty ironic that this poem was used in this movie…But thats another blog. (I fully appreciate and respect everyone serving for our country…but there are some things that just don’t fit quiet right) 

ANYWAYS…..If you read the poem below its pretty inspirational, but the hardest part is living it out especially when you are going through hardships. Many of us go through hardships that are BEYOND our understanding. The suffering that occurs in this world or even around the corner of where you live is unbelievable.  People need more than just inspiration to step out of the darkness that they are living in..they need miracles, they need people that will actually listen, they need love, support, unconditionally love, prayer, friendship, trust, hope, faith and so much more. 

I would love for you to read this poem. Although I am not encouraging death which is mention in the poem… I am captured more on the humbleness and simplicity that this poem offers and the urge to love one self because you have so much meaning in this life.   

To practice you can grab a piece of paper or post-it and tape it or wrap it around something you use constantly. (pens, keys, credit card, phones, coffee pot, books, etc.) and write yourself anything that will help you smile or something you can share that will bring a smile to other peoples faces. Even the slightest relief from a harsh reality is better than nothing for a lot of people. You can use it to remind yourself that you are beautiful inside and out. Use it to carry your favorite inspirational quotes so you can practice and live out that inspiration!!  So many endless opportunities and inspirations but lets not keep it to ourselves lets share them and make them real. <3 Again if you need someone to hear you out on anything you are struggling with feel free to contact me on here or you can email me at Uncandi@gmail.com. Remember you don’t have to go through anything alone. 

So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion;respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going ho

Starving for Something New

For the last few days I have been going through…probably thousands of pictures of flat stomachs, hip bones poking, thigh gaps showing and other body parts that are the definition of perfection in our current society.  And Im pretty sure that there are a thousands other girls (and guys) looking through them too.  Wondering and wishing how theyre going to get that perfect body. And getting inspired to dedicate their lives to achieving.. “skinny.”

For the last fews days I have also been looking at before and after pictures of huge weight loss goals. I keep clicking through them and its addicting because it’s incredible how motivated people can get about their health? Or their body image? or Both?! But at what point does it become sick?

For the last few days now, I have also been going through blogs of depression, of anorexia,  and people wishing that they have someone they can vent too without them judging and giving unconditional love.  Constantly reading, “I wish I was skinny because than I would happy.” “I am fat and ugly.” “No one is listening to me.” This constant pattern of lonely, fat, skinny, depression, obsession..why doesn’t it stop? Why are women define by their waist line? Why is our social standards so brutal on body image…Its sad. These issue also all connect together one following another.  And I am in the middle of it trying not to get caught up in it. I care about what I look like and I do want that perfect body that tumblr and every other girl reblogs. So heres to another blog that will concentrate on learning to love myself for who I am. Ill be working on something that you don’t often see on tumblr which is pure uncontaminated happiness. And I don’t know exactly what that looks like..so its a work in progress.

My life isn’t the best. I constantly struggle with depression, sucky life, and my body image. And I am tired of it.  I am dedicated to changing the way I think about myself and others.  I want to also open this blog up to help anybody out there that needs to be heard no matter what you are struggling with.  I want to achieve tangible goals that will make me happy. That will stop this darkness from constantly covering up my future and my life. OUR lives should not be control by pictures of what supposably we should look like. It also should not be control by struggles that you go through alone. 

I will blog as much as I can and I will post several different things, ideas, qoutes, pictures that can help repair that broken soul and dry up those tears. Don’t be afraid to email me and share your story of  struggle maybe I can help you out or just be an ear to hear you out, but you don’t have to go through it alone. So cheers to something new and to a footstep toward change and control of my life. 

I love cats…..and Jackamo <3

I do! I love cats everything about them. The whiskers. The glistening marble eyes. And the cat-attitude that makes them witty, smart, and awfully cute. I have one myself, her name is Jackamo. Everything about her screams quirky, clumsy, adventurous, and love. I currently don’t have her in my possession but when I do I know it will be a rekindled love.  She stays at my boyfriends where she is free to roam around and search for mischievous things to do. At night she patently waits for someone to open the door so she can eat, drink, and cuddle in her favorite arm chair or on a soft bed. I constantly worry about her, hoping that she is not trampled by a vehicle or abused by some idiot human who has no sympathy for another living creature.  As she sleeps I can’t help but to rub her belly and pray that I can make something out of my life so she can live comfortably with me and only me. 

It’s weird… she pushes me to do something more with my life.  Petting her and hearing her un-tune meows keeps me sane.  A reminder that she has been with me through the bad memories and good ones.  I have cried with her and laughed with her. I have squeezed her to death because I was excited about something or I have used her as a pillow so I didn’t feel so lonely. Her pure black coat with a splash of white on her chest makes her beautiful. I don’t care about the bad luck myth she is stigmatize with.  I want her to be with me all the time, and in order to do that I need to finish college, get a better job, have my own car, and finally have my own personal space to myself. I feel like this goals are still something that a teenager wants. ha! But i want to earn them ALL BY MYSELF. No help from parents or friends just me, myself, and I. 

I’m hoping I can do this by the end of the year. Completing a list of goals…and I have to point out GAINT goals, is going to be extremely hard but for Jackamo I can do it. I can do this for myself and for my favorite kitty cat. I can do this so I can have moments were my boyfriend and I can be cuddled on a bed and jackamo stepping all over us trying to cuddle in. That sounds like a dream come true.  I feel stuck in my life and I’m hoping that having something as simplistic as a cat (I know it sounds crazy) to push me forward will help me accomplish the many things i want to do.  My Jackamo. <3